Drowning: the inbetween Life and Death Victim survivor - a Mothers story

Yesterday I received a letter via email from another mother, Evelynne(Name changed) who shared with me the most personal details of her five year old daughters drowning in 2012. She has asked me to share it.

I'd like to thank Evelynne for her words and recall of this all too common tragedy in the backyard pool.

Drowning, when reported in the media has usually two outcomes for the general public; Dead or alive.  On many occasions children are in the Intensive Care unit fighting for life and the media never report the 'inbetween' aftermath.

Today my blog post focus' on the "inbetweens". Those victims who have and did drown and/or die,  only to recover (or be revived) and be alive.  However these victims, usually children, now live with disabilites and/or medical conditions that impact on their everyday life and their families.

Hannah's Foundation currently has 17 children aged between two years and 27 years(drowning at 15) who live with a multiple range of many medical conditions and disabilities caused by drowning. Sadly the most severe of the inbetweens will lose their lives to the injuries that were caused by them drowning. The Foundation has supported over 27 families who have had children survive only to die with weeks, months or years afterwards.   These families too matter because most often than not their stories arent told.  Many families just aren't able to tell their stories because its too painful and they live in fear of THAT day that changed their lives.  To all these families our support, hearts and love are with you all.  Evelynne's story is just one of the many drownings that happen every year. 

Evelynne's letter shares the incident in which her daughter drowned before two adults and other children in the pool. A good Level two swimmer, like many young victims, had somehow ended up on the bottom of the pool. It only takes a matter of seconds. Seconds count. The aftermath of a drowning affects everyone. The Parent, The Victim, others around them at the time, Emergency services, Doctors, Nurses and even police and those that are just too overwhelmed at the retelling of the story, its affects a whole community.  Drowning is a community issue that needs to be discussed.

Drowning is fatal. Drowning is living. But drowning too, is living with a life not as before. Life changes.    Just as this family as it does for many. I hope that the messages in Evelynne's letter can help educate on the risks around water, never be reliant on skills of children and always be alert with Supervision. As Evelynne stated in a subsequent email "If I hadn't of done CPR she wouldn't be here". Supervision, Barriers, Swim Skills and CPR save lives. In this case the Supervision and CPR saved a life but its not always like this. CPR is the last resort and Evelynne knows that her daughter was close to death. A drowning is a drowning. There is no who has it worse, who has it better. Whatever the outcome we must all live with the event and manage the guilt/burdens/grief/trauma and days ahead with honour and love from within.

Kat Plint
Founder Hannah's Foundation 

Evelynne's Letter:

Hi Kat,

After reading your blog on the Foundations website yesterday I felt compelled to share my story with you and to thank you for helping others.

In Dec of 2012 my kids and I were visiting a cousin’s house. I had given birth to my third child six days earlier and my older 2 aged nine and five decided they would go for a swim in the pool with their cousins. My Five year old had completed levels 1 & 2 in swimming lessons and she was confident in the water where she could stand. My cousin and I supervised the children, sitting only a metre or so from the pool. I looked down briefly to mix some formula for my newborn. It didn’t seem like i was distracted for long but in those few moments my five year old daughter lost her footing on the pool safety ledge and slipped silently and quickly beneath the water.  While jumping in and out of the pool my nine year old son and his eight year old cousin spotted her on the bottom, they dove to pull her up and surfaced calling my name frantically. She was blue, foaming at the mouth and nose and was lifeless. She wasn’t breathing. The world stood still. I scrambled to find a safe place to put the baby and I then grabbed her lifeless body. I laid her down beside the pool and began to breathe into her mouth doing CPR. After multiple cycles of CPR and compressions my daughter finally took a breath, vomited and opened her eyes.  I will never forget this or the smells.

Her eyes were eerily glassy and I didn’t know if she was going to be ok.  The ambulance officers arrived but her oxygen levels were very low. I had to keep her conscious, but all she wanted to do was close her eyes and go to sleep.  We soon arrived at the hospital where she was admitted. She had fluid and vomit on her lungs and her oxygen levels needed to be monitored as they kept dropping. Somehow though, through the grace of God or whatever powers were looking over us that day.  Whilst no permanent damage is visible there are learning disabilities as she has started school.  These will need support as she grows older and we are thankful that we have our little girl back. 

I, in no way claim to know what you or anyone else who has lost their child to drowning is going through but I do know that the scene of seeing your child like that is one that haunts me every day. I am forever panicking about where my children are, whether the toilet door is open or closed (for fear that my little one will fall in head first and drown), wondering when something else is going to happen, constantly fearing that I will lose a child because I wasn’t attentive enough - just like I wasn’t that day.  Life just doesn’t seem the same. Things that were once fun to do as a family, turn me into a panicking, not so fun mum, worrying about every possible hazard. I feel like I’m suffocating my kids but I don’t know how to stop it. I get frustrated when people don’t seem to understand how urgent the situation was that day and how quickly it all unfolded before us. All they see is that she is here and just can’t understand why I am the way I am. I been told to 'get over it' and that I have to 'move on'. But I can’t. I just can’t. My mind won’t let me.

Thank you for reading my story and understanding it.  Please share my story so that others who live in fear like we do every day can find comfort that they aren’t alone.  Maybe reading my story or others like yours could save lives.  

Kind Regards
Evelynne